Confidence is another thing a lot of people struggle with. It is related to Imposter Syndrome but is not quite the same thing. And, like Imposter Syndrome, lack of confidence isn’t an issue that will ever go away completely.
It’s normal to lack confidence (sometimes). It’s only a problem when it is preventing you from doing the things you want and need to do.
The most recent thing we’ve published here about Confidence makes this point rather forcefully. When guest author Jamie Pei says “F**k Confidence!” she is challenging the view that particular ways of performing confidence are necessary. She’s also reframing our understanding of what confidence looks like. This is important because it’s easy to confuse arrogance for confidence. They are not the same. In fact, arrogance can sometimes be a mask or a shield put up to protect the wearer who is feeling not at all confident.
A lot of people that I work with don’t feel comfortable “faking it” in this way. And you don’t have to. If you struggle with confidence, you are not broken. You don’t need fixing. You might want to understand the terrain better, and find some strategies for doing the things you want and need to do, even if it still feels scary.
What contributes to confidence?
One of the oldest posts on confidence challenges the common misconception that you need external validation of your work to feel confident. For example, you might think that once you’ve had an article published, you will feel more confident about your ability to write in an appropriate academic way.
This belief can set up a vicious circle in which you are struggling to do the thing that will get you external validation because you don’t have the confidence, but you feel like you can’t be confident since there is no external validation…
Since you will always be learning new things and doing new things, you need another way to think about confidence.
In 2018, I wrote about 3 different elements that contribute to confidence. These posts will help you understand the ways in which the context in which you find yourself contributes to your ability to feel confident. Hopefully, they also suggest some ways of thinking about confidence, enabling you to find some openings that are more conducive.
- The first element is meaningfulness.
“Reconnecting with the desire to write” expands on this in a useful way.
For more on the importance of meaningfulness in your work, see the Spotlight On: Meaningfulness. - The second element contributing to confidence is security.
This is one of the big structural barriers, especially in these times of Dystopia, Uncertainty, and Disruption.
At a minimum, this post will reassure you that your lack of confidence is not a personal failing. But do jump down to the section on practical strategies, because all is not lost. - The third element is support. Support is not the same thing as external validation but it does overlap. I tease that out in this post.
In Prove Them Right, I discuss a strategy for recognizing the support you already have as a strategy for feeling more confident about your ability to do what you need to do now.
Most importantly, needing support does not mean you lack confidence. You don’t have to do this alone! I’ve written a few posts about using the supports you need and asking for help:
Why you need confidence
As annoying as advice to “Be more confident” is, a lack of confidence makes it harder to do the things you want and need to do. It can also make your job more miserable than it needs to be. There is enough awful stuff happening these days. Finding ways to be more confident can make your day to day experience of it 5 to 10% better (maybe more!).
Some of my earlier posts on this framed the issue in terms of “permission”. When you lack confidence, you can be reluctant to do the work that is important and meaningful, or to do things in the way that you think is most effective, because you are “waiting for permission” to do them that way. Confidence helps you act without permission.
One area where I’ve seen this a lot is in teaching. Lack of confidence here can lead to overpreparation, which takes up a lot of time. Time you could use for other parts of your job (like writing and research). I’ve written about this specific issue and some ways to address it in “How does teaching make you feel?”
Lack of confidence also contributes to your difficulties with ‘Saying No‘. In particular, it can lead to over-explaining. I am a recovering over explainer myself, and I know from experience that this never works out the way you think it will.
Practical strategies
The fact that you need confidence, despite all the structural reasons making it difficult, means you need some practical strategies. You do not need to arrogantly “Fake it til you make it”, because your goal isn’t really to feel confident.
Your goal is to be able to do the things you need to do, with as much ease and enjoyment as possible.
I did a roundup post of Confidence Tricks that will get you started. There are also a few posts about specific issues…
I answered a question about feeling confident in the Q&A portion of a conference panel in “Confidence in the Face of Criticism” And addressed the issue of feeling confident to write the author bio that feels true to your whole self in “Do you hate writing author bios?”.
Sometimes the trick you need is as simple as a costume, also known as “professional dress” or, as a former colleague called it, “lady professor drag”. I was prompted to write about this in relation to confidence (among other things) during the early stages of the pandemic, but it is useful all the time. A variation on this is dressing differently when you are doing different types of work. Many academics have writing clothes, for example, especially when they are able to devote a full day to writing.
But you could experiment with a hat.
You can do this!
There are good reasons you don’t always feel confident that you can do the things you need to do well and achieve the goals you want to achieve.
There will always be times when you lack confidence. That’s a pretty normal reaction to trying new things and reaching for ambitious goals.
You need to feel confident enough to take action. It’s okay if it still feels scary. It’s okay if you still aren’t sure you’re going to succeed. You need to feel confident enough to try.
Hopefully, some of what I’ve shared in this Spotlight helps you feel a little bit more confident. I am confident that you can do it!
